Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. – Genesis 2:23-24
I was sitting down and listening to a beautiful Christian couple discuss the idea of growing apart. I don’t think they were aware of how much they dwelled on cleaving.
Cleaving in simple terms means to glue or stick yourself onto your spouse.
In sitting down with this idea, I began to assess that a relationship is filled with intimacy. The more time you spend together and discuss the future. The webs of intimacy grow. The human beings begin to intertwine and cleave to one another as vulnerability and trust begin to grow.
Of course cleaving in a biblical sense does refer to sexual intimacy but cleaving in so many others ways could refer to the oneness that you and your partner begin to become. After all the more time you spend in someone’s company the more you begin to be like them.
Your goals intertwine.
Your dreams intertwine.
Your emotions intertwine.
Next thing you know…
You go from thinking about your own future to our future.
I think the treachery slopes of cleaving to one another and choosing one another brings you to the realm of oneness. To the extent that before you meet me as a person, you would have also met my partner indirectly.
Cleaving is a treachery slope where it can easily be unclear if not met with guidance from the Holy Spirit.
Questions such as:
When does cleaving become codependent?
Should we rather be independent because we are fearful of codepency?
Is codepency and independence the extremes we should be staying away from?
Where do we draw the line and how do we facilitate relationships that allow us to create an environment of interdependency with our partners and God?
Lastly, Is interdependency biblical?
I’m slowly realising that God not only cares about me when I’m with my partner. But God truly cares about who I am as a human being.
And as beautiful as oneness is. Can lines be drawn?
Can we pursue Gods purpose for our lives whilst cleaving to one another?
What does healthy cleaving look like?
Most importantly what I take away from this blog post is how easily culture has normalised weaving and cleaving to anyone before we marry.