A soft woman often has negative connotations in the society we live in today. The kinder, vulnerable and more empathetic I am. The more the world refuses to accept me in this form.

What is it about a vulnerable, soft and kind woman that scares the world so much?

I have felt out of place my entire life. The softness of my face, my demeanour and my statue has often left me feeling less than. Those who have come and gone in my life have often left me feeling that I am not enough woman because I refuse to embody the qualities of strength.

As a black woman, we are seen for our fads than our actual feelings. We are loved for the kink in our hair, the curve of our hips and our skin tones. Everything that is “cool”. But no one wants to pursue us beyond that at times. No one wants to pursue our hearts. Our softness.

We are constantly pressured to be tough. We are constantly pressured to be strong. It’s as if the softer you are. The less than you are.

I see it in my experience in corporate. I must always have a response. I must never be quick to listen. If I am kind, I am easily told how unsuccessful the team I am leading will be.

“You need to be tougher Khethi”

“You need to be this”

And most of my “I need to’s” often leave me feeling the pressure to dabble in the territory of throwing out my feminine heart because no one cares to see it. It’s a threat. I must be more masculine.

My softness can be a major threat to masculine women as well. It’s as if once you’ve discovered and embraced your softness and feminine heart. No one not even a fellow woman is willing to accept it.

It’s as if seeing a woman at rest in her divine godly feminine energy is a threat.

Todays blog post is dedicated to the soft women like me.

Your vulnerability is strong.

Your empathy brings healing in this world.

Your spirit being at rest brings peace to those around you. It encourages your husband, children and friends to find a home in you.

The same feminine heart I have has allowed so many men in corporate to really open up their hearts towards me and tell me what really is going on. I have seen how much more relieved they feel and how I can point them towards going to therapy and praying to God to assist them in their broken places. My feminine heart has brought healing to many.

So no matter where you are. Please embrace your softness. It’s a divine capability that will bring healing into this world. We are the veins that bring life to a heart.

Adam looked upon woman and called her, “Eve”. Eve is translated to “Living one” or “Source of life”.


You are Eve.

You are a source of life with your softness and feminine qualities.

Don’t forget that. Don’t backdown when the world calls on the “stronger” you to show up.

Stay blessed.

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