Something is missing.

What do you do when you’ve done all the healing and still feel like something is missing?

You know….

You’ve done the grandious work in yourself. You’ve changed the curtain. Took out the trash and really got to the real core of who you are.

And yet,

You. Still. Feel.

Empty but complete.

Do you perhaps reckon that it is the desire of what is familiar or is it a message that there still is more there?

Over the past few weeks I’ve been dwindling at the idea of how loss can make you feel. I guess I don’t think anyone talks about how at times you can miss what used to be.

In our pursuit of healing and being whole. I’ve realised how I’ve reached a point where I feel so complete, so happy and so fulfilled in who I am.

Yet why do I still feel complete with unfulfilled needs. Is this how grief should feel?

The world will share that you don’t really have to miss your past but what if your past was the biggest part of you. What if your past was everything to you?

Then what do you do?

Continue to move forward without acknowledging the incredible impact that the past had on you?

Grieving is a process and although the better days are here. I can’t help but miss what was.

I cant help but let my thoughts wander into what could have been.

And all these moments open up incredible reminders that in the midst of it all. Opening up to God about what I miss and what now somewhat feels like,

I’m complete and whole but still I feel incomplete is one of the most weirdest feelings ever. Because,

It feels like you are ungrateful for the strides you have made.

Grief is weird.

Stay blessed.

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