I don’t know what it is but the need to speak out can be rather difficult for me.
It could be the imposter syndrome that occasionally rears it’s ugly head reminding me to beg for space in the workplace or friendships or any human interaction I make.
The need to speak up gets silenced by the voice that scares you into believing that the more you speak out. The more you would be chased out of rooms or relationships that you feel you don’t deserve.
The more you suppress your emotions and desires and longings. You suppress an opportunity to show people how to treat you. To finally find yourself in a table with a room filled with those who want to take care of your desires and longings.
One tends to realise that the failure to speak out can also result in resentment towards those who you hope will love you. It results in this unspoken clause that “I will work hard to be loved by you” and go as deep as not ruffling any feathers. It goes as deep as wearing shoes that are two sizes too small for you. It goes as far as withholding yourself.
This blog post serves as a love letter to voice out how you feel. If you were meant to sit at a table. It is your hard work, your diligence and your mind that has brought you to that table.
You are worthy and deserving of the seat on the table and it is okay to express that you aren’t happy with the quality of the meal you are being served. It is okay to say,
“That’s not enough for me”